seriously!?

or not. now this is a lesson i have learned the hard way kids. never underestimate mom guilt. *never*.

the day before my mom flies in i was on my way to the parking lot to go fetch my car.

lo and behold, where are my car keys. “oh. my. god. this is not happening to me” were i believe the exact thoughts running through my head at that point.

so then i go pick her up at the airport. and i kid you not this was totally the conversation we had.

the rest of the weekend was pretty much more of the same.

really, it was fun. i promise. *fingers crossed*.

actually that should probably be the tag line of my life. i can’t tell you the number of times a conversation has started like this:

but of course one of my friends in grad school told me this would be a great idea so why listen to the voice of reason. that would be silly.

that and it’s really hard to say no to a beautiful bike…

you move away from home. and start a new job. and apparently get a really cool co-worker!

he even takes you out for drinks because he’s cool like that.

and then you see the hitch… or well not hitch, i guess it really all depends on how you feel about it.

like when you decide to get a tattoo a month before you run a marathon. or the day before you go back to work from a long weekend.

of course it always helps to have a voice of reason…

granted it might help if you listed to the voice of reason *before* you went and did something.

it could save you a lot of trouble… like say trying to change your plastic wrap at the office because you got a new tattoo… hypothetically speaking, of course.

so there was this girl that i dated for all of a hot minute. and i always think this is the funniest story ever partially because it is completely true. no fabrication or even elaboration involved.

so we went out for about a week, i really liked her so i surprised her with flowers because… well i like flowers, don’t you?

and then she changed her number. seriously she changed her number like 3 times in the week or so that we were dating so i guess it wasn’t that big of a surprise except that you know she didn’t tell me. yeah way to show a girl you like her.

oh and she totally stopped talking to me in public too because we lived in this tiny tiny town so of course you run into each other at any 1 of the 3 bars in town that *everyone* goes to. but i think this was really the moment where i was most baffled:

so yes folks. we’re totally not talking. you changed phone numbers on me. you ignore me in public. but yes, let’s totally be friends on myspace! you remember myspace right? i mean i know it was centuries ago before facebook overtook our lives but yeah, that totally happened. in real life.

like when you move across an ocean into a totally different life.

and still get emails from the same boy as always.

at least it’s predictable, right?

um, not. well, try explaining that to my mom. i mean what was i thinking enjoying my saturday afternoon by reading on the couch.

though it may be embarrassing to admit the number of times i have not been expecting to be global IT support. note i live thousands of miles from home (and have for the last almost 10 years) as depicted here.

and then it’s awesome when they can’t follow instructions. i’d like to note my mom is *not* computer illiterate, i have seen her be quite self sufficient… until i started my career in IT. (big mistake)

insert <headdesk> moment here.

and then when it’s all over. it’s like that was the easiest and not frustrating thing ever… um to them.

you know it’s always during some moment when things are going really well that that person, you know who i’m talking about. that boy or girl that always has you in their back pocket or whatever. inevitably shows up. like at a going away party.

and of course they give you a card. jointly with their significant other. though the best part is that they are dating *that* girl. yes, you know who i’m talking about, the skinny asian chick that’s way too happy for her own good. and goes a little overboard with all the !!!!s and xoxoxoxs.

don’tcha just want to shoot them out of cannon sometimes? just a little.

because you know you can *never* say what you really feel at work. especially when you’re talking to HR.

is it just me or does HR always seem to think that they’re being reasonable when really…

and then you try to help and it always, always goes oh so well.

especially when clearly they just want you to do something for them that is not really in the realm of what you do because they are “too busy” to tell you that maybe some new people will be hired. clearly IT does not need to know that. we’re not the ones who set up all your accounts, give you building access or get your email ready or anything like that.

and it’s even better when they are totally listening at the quarterly meeting when you’re talking about what you need to happen in order to keep up with the way things are going.

but you know we’re IT so we can “magically” make things happen… right?

right.

at least i’ve noticed this periodically when i’m on the phone with my best friend.

it seems there are just some people with whom you can be on the phone and it’s almost like being in the room with them. except from the comfort of your own home… or wherever you are.

and sometimes it’s just knowing that you can mutter to your best friend, no matter how weird it might seem to “normal people” even though you’re not actually saying anything real.